There's something about Hermione
by yon-inc
Summary: This is rated r for future chapters, so dont think it's wrongly rated! anyways, THis is based on the tv show you all know (and laugh at), There's Something about Hermione. It is given a kinda kathnkimskithouseus twist! plz r&r!


There's something about Hermione  
  
"Hello and welcome to 'There's something about Hermione', the show where we humiliate 6 Hogwarts boys without them knowing it! We're your hosts, Mon & Marge! And now let's meet the 'lucky' six!"  
  
The stage went completely black, except for the spotlight on Marge & Mon. A drumroll came into hearing range and suddenly on stage another spotlight (green in colour) came onto stage, revealing.....  
  
"Draco Malfoy!" The crowd went wild. Malfoy himself looked rather wild. "Tonight young Mr Malfoy" Continued Marge "is wearing Gucci jeans- $2.99 at your local Go-lo store, An electric pink tank top by Versace (available at all good toy stores) and ah, this shouldn't be here! Ah, Mr Malfoy is also sporting a Veronica's Closet lacy thong- hot of the catwalks of Milan!" The crowd burst into applause as Draco pouted whilst the camera focused on the platinum haired, silver eyed boy. Draco licked his finger and placed it on his buttocks.  
  
"Tast-ay" Hermione exclaimed, her eyes glued to Draco's tight tank top. "Yummy" . Draco bowed and took his place on a stool near Mon and Marge.  
  
"Harry Potter!" Mon yelled. Harry walked onto the stage. "Tonight Mr Potter wears Armani leather pants, imported from Pakistan, and might I add, seems to be achieving that 'John Travolta' look! Complimenting his Pakistani pants, Mr Potter wears a Dior Mesh singlet top, and clogs imported from Sweden! As you can see, the stunning shoes have been intractely painted with lilac tulips!  
  
Hermione checked out Harry in the 'stunning' piece. His singlet accentured his muscular frame. "Quidditch is my bag, baby!" Exclaimed Hermione, in near estatics, squealing along with her peers. Harry took his place on the stage.  
  
"Ronald Weasley!" Marge announced. Ron strutted onto stage. "Freestylah!" Ron bellowed, his hands in the air, 'west-side style'. Mon and Marge burst into fits of laughter. "Tonight in this erm, beautiful piece," Marge continued, choking down laughs "Ron is wearing Wu-tang um pants. I mean shorts. Long shorts. Moving on, the hoodie jumper from Nike is not a dress, but simply a large hoodie. The shoes are etnie skates, and His hair, done by the beautiful Jo Bailey, is achieved into this 'fro by using nothing but Sunsilk Custom highlights, and definetley not Pantene, as 5 vitamins simply does not workQ The truckie, from Billabong Australia, is yes, 7 times larger than his head. It was originally fitted for out previous contestant, Mr Harry Potter!" The crowd erupted into cheear for Ronald Weasly, try-hard nigger style, hard to da kore!  
  
"Yo ho!" Ron yelled, pointed at 'Mione. "Chu wanna be my bitch? My squeeze? My beau?" Hermione looked dazzled. "Fo' sho!" She managed to pull out. "Aaaaiiiiiiiiggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhttttttttt!" Ron yelled. "Peace up! A- down!" Ronald left the stage and took his seat near Harry.  
  
"Blaise Zabini!" Mon roared.  
  
"Stop! Collaborate and listen! Ice is back with a brand new invention!" The lyrics from Ice Ice baby rang out from a huge boom box whilst Blaise gave Hermione a personal jazz performance. "Spin, thrust and cut!" Blaise called, breathing heavily, hands on his hips. Blaise bowed as the crowd went crazy, and joined the other contestants.  
  
"Mr Neville Longbottom!" Marge screamed. "Yah man! Neville replied, coming out onto stage. Rastafarian style. "Tonight Mr Longbottom appears in a tie-died shirt, stolen from a bum from Bellambi. The pants from Supre, are custom made and made from animal-free products. Ahir again donw by the beautiful Jo Bailey, and for dreads like Neville's, Jo recommends to use NO hair products, so steer clear of Sunsilk custom highlights." "In da memo-rey of da late Bob Marley man!" Neville yelled, in his 'Rastafarian' accent.  
  
"And our final contestant is Seamus Finnegan!" Seamus appeared on stage in a "punk" style. He wore Supre jeans, black in colour, a white t-shirt with "Good Charlotte, the young & the hopeless" written across his chest. He had a black wristband on his left hand with 2cm spikes like daggers poking out. Seamus hair was in long 15cm spike sprayed in a range of colours.  
  
"Do your thing" Seamus said, inclining his head slightly/  
  
"Well that's all we have time for folks!" Mon announced to the great hall. "Be back tommorow for more 'There's something about Hermione'"  
  
Authors Notes: Yay to da ness! This is our 1st fanfic and goddamnit we're excited. Whoooooooooo hooooooooooooooo! If you're not an aussie, Supre is a girls chain shop in Australia, one that us too (and cheesemongoose) laugh at a lot. It is very girlie- kinda the opposite of us! And Go-lo, is a reject shop, and is where we buy all our clothes.......................... joke! Plz don't take that fo real..... kinda not us! Please enjoy & review or we will not update! Luv Yoninc- P.S Yon iz goddddddddddddddd! 


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